Waffle Face, Hellraiser, Seas of Cheese, Long Odds High Stakes and the Ultimate Reward, Could Not Get Loose, Dr. Frankinshtone

Aloha,

Waffle Face

I may bring my digital camera into radiation treatments today and ask Wade, Shane, Loren, or Nikki to take my photo whilst and after I am in this lovely contraption that keeps my head immobile. This "mask" is so tight that I can barely open my eyes, I cannot talk, and swallowing is an effort. This is way cool because my Radiation Oncologist, Radiation Physicist, and highly skilled Radiation Oncology Technicians are doing a very precise dance near some tissues that are near and dear to me. I have a fondness for my right optic nerve and I have a special affinity for my brain.

Why do I think my mask is a "lovely contraption"? Well it is a perfect representation of my humble face. After 15 or so minutes of being in my lovely mask, I have this way cool waffle face and look a bit like Pinhead from Clive Barker's "Hellraiser" movies.

Yesterday I did over an hour on my bicycle trainer followed by a half hour of yoga. I listened to Primus' excellent album "Sailing the Seas of Cheese for part of my ride looking out my windows at the gorgeous forest.

Sailing the Seas of Cheese by Primus

When the going gets tough
And the stomach acids flow
The cold wind of conformity
Is nipping at your nose
When some trendy new atrocity
Has brought you to your knees
Come with us we'll sail the
Seas of Cheese

Long Odds

Unfortunately, for the worst types of brain tumors, the current standard treatments are not
curative (high stakes) for the majority of patients. Unlike most other medical conditions, you will have a lot of important decisions to make. When we win we are going to realize the ultimate reward of life and love. I have been training my whole life for such an opportunity of ultra high risk, ultra high reward. I am going for it and I am honored to have your help.

We Disciples of Dirt enjoy mountain bike riding fast and smooth. A few of the Disciples and I were guiding a very cool ride on the Alpine, Tire Mountain, and Cloverpatch trails this last August 2007. A Disciple friend of mine nicknamed me "Skiddy MacSkidder" because of an unusual amount of rear wheel skidding I was doing on the Tire Mountain Trail at Mountain Bike Oregon in August 2007, http://www.mtbikeoregon.com/. I will have to play the Brain Cancer Card and say that the brain tumor was adversely effecting my fine neuromuscular coordination of my right hand. This makes sense to me because in bike riding Right hand controls are associated with the right derailleur and right brake. Like the Doo Dah man said, "Sometimes your cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay'em down."

I observed my friend's technique, told him skidding is not crashing, and nicknamed this magnificent, Grizzly Bear of a man, Faller McCrash. Something else you need to know about Mr. McCrash. He is a very good dude, wears pink bunny suits in public, and has been seen drinking good Oregon beer on occasion, and has a wonderful better half.


I could not get loose on a mountain bike ride in October. I do not know why because I did not have a crash that day. I brushed it off as nothing and rode the rest of the way home carefully and rather slow. I think the tumor was rearing its head at least as early as October but my symptoms were consistent with stress and the brain injury I sustained in June.

When my most excellent neurologist, Dr. Froedrick Von Frankinshtone, removed a big chunk of my tumor on October 21, 2007 from my brain he built a wonderful horseshoe shaped scar on the right side of my skull above my right ear. Way cool looking scar but alas, the 32, bitchin', steel staples have been removed in a fun follow up visit with Froedrick. Dr. Franenshteen's deft handiwork cut some peripheral nerves that has left me unable to lift my right eyebrow and squinch the right side of my right forehead. This is customary and normal for this type of operation and no less than 3 other highly skilled physicians with a ton of letter before and after the names have raved about Dr. Frankenstein's handiwork. Thank you Dr. Frederick and thank you Gene Wilder for that wonderful movie, "Young Frankenstein".

Be well,

Jack