It Is a Wonderful Week

Hello!

I had a good week last week. I had triumphs at work, triumphs, in my community, triumphs with friends, triumphs with family, triumphs with friends, triumphs with strangers.

At work I solved a problem in the way my boss, Stephen Albert Einstein Hawking, said was brilliant. I work with the most extraordinary, brilliant, clever people and sometimes I wonder why and how I am a part of the group. I do not wonder very often because I have my moments and I intend to make the extraordinary brilliant moments, common place for our group. We have a saying, “We can deliver the impossible by this Friday. A miracle may take a little bit longer.”

A friend of mine said a really nice lady in the neighborhood was having difficulty with her computer that no one including the computer vendor, her internet service provider (ISP) and other experts could not fix. I told her that I am a software programmer and I am not an expert in other parts of the computer. I often refer to my work’s computer experts when I have computer problems of my own.

I went over to the ladies home after work one evening and found that her computer was an Apple. I have not worked on an Apple this millennium but Apples are supposed to be more intuitive than PC’s I have been told. Her browser could not connect to the internet but her email could. After about an hour I found a section of the browser configuration that was “hard coded” and I decided to let Apple do the figuring out for itself. She was on the internet by the time I left and she showed me a short cut through my neighbors yard. I live out in the woods so our yards look mostly like forest because the forest is what are yards are.

I was feeling a little funky the other morning and called up a friend and was instantly de-funktified. I have not felt emotionally funky since being released from the hospital. I was only funked up for about 15 minutes so beware, if I feel funky, you may be called upon for cleansing defunktification. I triumphed by letting my friend feel good helping me. I probably could have defunked myself by standing on my head but I thought I would make a friend feel good that morning. A day without standing on your head is like a day without fresh squeezed, Florida Orange Juice, not from concentrate.

I had very nice conversations with my folks and finished a gorgeous puzzle this week we started together. The puzzle shows a Native American Spiritual Scene with Mother Earth looking into a crystal ball with a Great White Buffalo in the ball. Mom is going to frame and mat the puzzle when I go to Lake Wildwood and San Francisco in May.

I went to Sisters, Oregon this weekend and I had just finished purchasing some gasoline. A lady came charging into the Sisters General Store and Gas Station and told the owner that she had ripped off her muffler on one of the gasoline truck refuel manhole things. The distraught driver asked if the station had a mechanic. The owner of the General Store said no but the Shell Station about a quarter of a mile away did.

I looked the lady in the eye and said, “I am not an ASE Certified Mechanic but if you would like, I will look at your car.” She said, “I love you. Don’t tell my husband.” The lady had a way cool, newer, silver, Mustang with dual exhaust. One of the exhausts was dragging on the pavement. I asked her how long she had been driving and she had been driving for two hours. I knew the exhaust was going to be hot, hot, hot. I put on a pair of gloves Artemis had bought me on one of her trips to Alaska. I also found a piece of cardboard to prevent melting my gloves onto my baby bottom smooth, yet manly, strong, skillful, and powerful hands.

I crawled and maneuvered my body so I could get a look at the exhaust pipe. It was broken clean off just behind the catalytic converter. I told her I could not fix the broken exhaust but a mechanic might be able to. I told her she had a nice exhaust system and it would probably be more cost effective to fix the broken exhaust pipe that to replace the exhaust system. I told her I may be able to fix the broken exhaust with asbestos duct tape but I am clean out of asbestos duct tape.

I told her that if we had a length of wire, like a coat hanger, I could probably fix the exhaust so she could at least make it to a real mechanic. She was jiggy with the wire idea.

The driver and her daughter helped me find a length of wire, a 4X4, and some two by fours. The wood the ladies gave me helped me position and hold the heavy, hot, wriggly, exhaust system while I was trying to position and fasten the nearly too short length of wire. After about a half an hour, I got the exhaust system tied up and I followed the driver to the Shell station.

The driver asked me how much she owed me. I told her, “What you can do for me is to get to wherever you are going safely.”

I read something by Deepak Chopra that hit me as pretty cool. The universe is infinite in all directions, so no matter where you go, you are the center of the universe.

I am starting to do yoga at the Vida McKenzie Community Center on Tuesday Evenings. It is pretty cool doing yoga with my neighbors. They are newer practioners which is fun for me on many levels.

Be well, Peace and Love.

Jack “The Vulture” Burton